Develop a Positive Mindset and Silence the Negative Voice in Your Head

Have you ever dealt with a toxic internal monologue? That horrible inner voice that keeps pulling you backward no matter how hard you try to move forward?

When no one is talking to you, you talk to yourself, and that inner voice enables you to reflect on your life by using silent language.  Chatter is the moment you turn yourself inward to review your problems and come up with narratives to explain your experiences in ways that give shape to your understanding of who you are. If you end up being more worried, that’s when you get stuck in that endless loop that turns your inner voice from a blessing to a curse. That can be a symptom of a serious mental health issue and can lead to depression, low self-esteem, and anxiety.

“If you constantly think about the negative side of things, you will feed the evil wolf within to grow stronger and, eventually, completely overpower the good one.” 

As Tony Robins says, energy flows where attention goes. It’s possible to divert those negative thoughts to a positive outcome by avoiding 3 things:

1. Negative Emotions
2. Negative People
3. Negative Situations

Recognize and Stop Negative Emotions:

What we feel is much more than we realize it and that is a troublesome feature of being human. There are emotions of anger or joy or hate or fear or resentment coursing their way through us, and those emotions lie outside the sphere of “ordinary consciousness”.   Mental unwellness is born out of an accumulation of unfelt feelings and we must get ourselves deeply acquainted with our true emotions. Ask yourself “What am I feeling?” and “Why am I feeling this?” and work on releasing those feelings through writing, talking, or working out. 

Close your eyes and let the form-free nature of the questions resonate and after a few moments of scanning the penumbra of the inner mind, you would be liable to pick up a few intimations of something. It might be the whisper of a disturbingly well-camouflaged anxiety. You may need to decode minute moments of aggression, meanness, or grief that have impacted you without you consciously noticing it. You might also detect signs of ancient traumas that seem to be still active. Your body might be carrying many muted feelings.

The worry and sorrow of unfelt feelings will be reduced through this ten or twenty-minute of concentrated reflection into and out of yourself. This will result in a newfound peace of mind and lightness of the soul.

Mastering the Art of Handling Negativity: Strategies for Dealing with Negative Individuals:

The more you encounter toxic people in your life the better you notice patterns of their toxic behavior. Their impact can be stingy and indelible. People who always deceive, lie, and manipulate. People who are inconsistent with their words and actions. People who guilt shame others. Narcissists. People who feed on others' insecurities. People who are always trying to get attention. People who absorb your positive energy when you are happy or enthusiastic. People who are always complaining. There are hundreds of scenarios.  The sharp end of this is that you must avoid these kinds of people and that’s a skill that comes with maturity. We become more intolerant about certain things.          

The best way to prevent them from exerting influence on you is to simply disengage. No matter how hugely they affected you, you need to be able to disengage. That means recognizing their behavior is bad and choosing not to interact with them. It might take months or even years to master this tactic.  These people will disappear from your life once you acquire this practice and learn their ways.

Coping Strategies for Managing Adverse Circumstances:

Positiveness does not depend on what surrounds you, but on what's inside you. Life is 10℅ of what happens and 90℅ of how we react. If you remain positive even in your darkest hour, you'll attract all the positivity around you.

There is this story, written by an unknown writer, that I read once and that I always get reminded of when someone asks me this question: The Potato, Egg, and Coffee Bean.

"Once upon a time, a daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn't know how she was going to make it. She was tired of fighting and struggling all the time. It seemed that just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed. Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Once the three pots began to boil, he placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot, and ground coffee beans in the third pot. He then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to his daughter. The daughter moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. After twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup. Turning to her he asked. "Daughter, what do you see? “Potatoes, eggs, and coffee," she hastily replied. "Look closer," he said, "and touch the potatoes." She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich aroma brought a smile to her face. "Father, what does this mean?" she asked. He then explained that the potatoes, the eggs, and the coffee beans had each faced the same adversity- boiling water. However, each one reacted differently. The potato went in strong, hard, and unrelenting, but in boiling water, it became soft and weak. The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard. However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new. "Which are you," he asked his daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean?​"

The Moral of the Story:

“In life, things happen around us, and things happen to us. The only thing that truly matters is your choice of how you react to it and what you make of it. Learn, adapt, and choose to make the best of each experience.”

So, if you are suffering from toxic self-talk and harsh inner criticism, you are not alone. Don’t hesitate to seek help. You are braver than you believe. You are stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.